1. I am awesome. Seriously.
2. When I was little, I had two imaginary friends named Bricky and Brick. They were from Greece.
3. In college, I was voted Homecoming King, which should tell you how seriously they took that kind of thing.
4. I used to have an FCC license.
5. Patrick Swayze asked for me a blowjob, but he was kidding.
6. I've gotten two speeding tickets, both in the same three-month period.
7. My Blogger account was the 2,217,239th created.
8. I've eaten crocodile.
9. I walked around a studio lot with Cheryl Tiegs on my arm.
10. I also drove her car.
11. I think The Simpsons is the best show that's ever been on television.
12. Both my grandmothers are named in song titles on The White Album ("Sexy Sadie," "Martha My Dear") but I don't think the songs are about them.
13. I own a shirt that I've never washed even though I've worn it many times in the last eight years.
14. I was told that the kid who played the older brother on The Wonder Years liked an article I'd written. The article was about pro wrestling.
15. In high school, I played clarinet, alto saxophone, baritone saxophone, oboe, bass drum, and guitar.
16. In college, I played guitar.
17. The first girl I ever kissed had glasses and a cat named Toonces.
18. I have never been skiing, ice skating, or surfing.
19. I once touched Ted Kennedy's butt.
20. My favorite number is 5.
21. The first article I wrote that was published nationally was for a bridal magazine.
22. In second grade, I broke my elbow playing at recess.
23. Victoria Principal once said to me, "I love you. I want you."
24. My first job was at McDonald's, where I earned fifty cents an hour below minimum wage.
25. I've eaten at McDonald's less than five times in the last eight years.
26. The two kids who lived next door to me growing up were named Artsy and Christian Lusty.
27. I once read an Internet rumor that I didn't exist.
28. I did not jog a full mile until I was 23.
29. B.B. King once made fun of me and a room full of people laughed.
30. I overenunciate my G's.
31. One time in college, a girl brought me back to her room. We were snuggled up close and looking at pictures and I farted really loud. We still hooked up.
32. I've been to Israel and saw one of the Jordan's Furniture guys there.
33. Triangles make me laugh.
34. I could eat Indian food every single day and not get sick of it.
35. My first pet was a goldfish named Ari.
36. My last landlord was a prick named Ari.
37. Pamela Anderson once asked me for directions,
38. In seventh grade, I tried to give myself the nickname Riboflavin.
39. I did not have a beer until I was in college.
40. My name has appeared in TV credits on ABC, CBS, NBC, and the WB
41. When I was eight, I dropped a plate at a salad bar and when I everyone turned and looked, I blamed my sister.
42. I've seen nine Barenaked Ladies concerts and would only see a tenth under extreme duress.
43. For two days, I had a Mohawk.
44. I used to tell people my middle name was Leopold, even though it isn't.
45. I also used to tell people my middle name was spelled Lawrence but pronounced "Leopold."
46. I used to think I was pretty funny.
47. Rebecca Romijn-Stamos and Ellen DeGeneres have hugged me, but not at the same time.
48. I never had GI Joes, but I had Indiana Jones figures that were about the same size. I used to make them wrestle.
49. I had an underground newspaper in high school called The Vagabond.
50. I was a vegetarian for over five years.
51. I did not see an episode of The Dukes of Hazzard until I was 21.
52. I have never smoked a cigarette.
53. I smoked pot with Patrick Swayze in a parking lot.
54. I don't have a Boston accent, but my mom does.
55. The first tape I ever owned was the Ghostbusters soundtrack.
56. The first concert I saw was INXS with the Soup Dragons.
57. The first movie I saw in the theater was The Muppet Movie. When Animal got all big, I cried.
58. I attended a Wrestlemania and stood two feet away as Donnie Wahlberg was introduced to Vince McMahon.
59. My shoe size is 12.
60. I used to think asking celebrities their shoe size was a clever question in interviews.
61. Dilbert creator Scott Adams told me his shoe size is 9 1/2, sometimes 10.
62. I prefer margarine to butter.
63. My favorite character on Sesame Street has always been Cookie Monster.
64. When I was 19, I totaled my parents' car.
65. The girl I dated most of my sophomore year of college married the next guy she dated.
66. I've seen every Star Wars movie in the theater at least twice, except for the last one, which was my favorite of the new batch.
67. Freshman year of high school, I was ranked fifth in my class.
68. The one time I tried Jolt Cola, I stayed up till 3 am with the theme to a My Little Pony commercial stuck in my head.
69. At the risk of sounding like Beavis, my favorite food may well be nachos.
70. The original Marcia Brady once butted into my conversation.
71. I have never walked out of a movie.
72. I've had 12 roommates and shared a room with three.
73. I am the direct descendent of a famous Ukrainian rabbi from the 1800s.
74. The favors at my bar mitzvah were T-shirts that said, "I went to Dan's bar mitzvah and you didn't."
75. My favorite wrestler was the Ultimate Warrior.
76. If I see a little kid who's too old to be holding the stuffed animal he has, I want to kill myself.
77. I've been to 28 states, ten countries, and four continents.
78. If you told me I could not start a sentence with the word "so," I might not be able to talk.
79. Geena Davis once told someone I was talented, but I think she was just agreeing with the guy to get out of the conversation.
80. Regardless, she gave me a teddy bear.
81. I have no known allergies, although I used to think I was allergic to "too much fresh pineapple" because it made the roof of my mouth sore.
82. My childhood bedroom still has a giant Aerosmith poster.
83. I have no idea what blood type I am.
84. I learned how to drive stick on a car built in 1935.
85. I type over 70 words a minute, but I don’t use the home keys or my pinkies or any of that "correct" way of typing.
86. I had a pager for several years.
87. Let’s say my boss's name was Tom Tupa. Denis Leary looked me dead in the eye and said, "Fuck Tom Tupa."
88. I used to own accordions on the east and west coast.
89. I don't know how play the accordion.
90. I've stolen more music than I care to admit and don't understand why it doesn't bother me more.
91. I'm a Mac guy, having converted as recently as 2003.
92. I once peed in Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry's house.
93. I've been to Graceland.
94. I can roll my R's, roll my tongue, and roll down the boulevard.
95. I'm somewhat suspicious of people who don't drink, swear, or like coffee.
96. I made Brooke Shields' husband frown. Years later, I made her smile.
97. I am clearly not afraid to name-drop in print, for better or worse,
98. I took my first date to see The Burbs. To this day, I'm not sure if she knew it was a date.
99. I had a hard time coming up with a full 100 things about me, but I'm glad I did.
100. Didn't I already tell you I was awesome? Well, I am.

(as of Jan 9, 2006)